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Shik 2.0
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Discussion Starter #1
I'm just curious what people's experiences have been with marital problems. If you've gone thru a divorce and care to share, please reply with the following, if the stages apply:

1. # of years 'happily' married
2. How long did the problems last before either party 'threw in the towel'
3. How long the process was from deciding to separate to being legally divorced
4. How long after before returning to the mingle pool or getting remarried.

I've had a half dozen friends in the past 2 years separate, get remarried, etc.. Just found out about another friend, who realized the day of her wedding that she was smoking crack.
 

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Grand Master Mabel listens to Death Metal and flip
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I just know this thread is going to be a bummer. :(
 

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Grand Master Mabel listens to Death Metal and flip
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Agreed.

I got plenty to share, but am opting out. :lol:
Oh c'mon...April is one thing.

Kim is a gem. Such a gem must be shared with the world....








as a warning. :lol:
 

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White Elephant Husband
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3,222 Posts
Almost got divorced.

Daly and I have been together 8 yrs. About 7 yrs in we had some problems that almost pushed us apart. No cheating or anything like that. Just not getting along. Nothing was smooth. We have been great now for about 6 months now and only had one falling out/fight in all that time.

I love my wife a lot and she loves me. We will always try to work things out. Hopefully it will never come to a full divorce. Everyone has their problems. If they say they never fight or ever have an issue; they are lying.
 

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1. # of years 'happily' married
This is our 5th year married. 11 years total together, I waited till I "thought" I knew what she was about. Women have a tendency to REALLY hide **** when they want to. Unfortunately i've worked several jobs where data collection, mining and information synthesis has been my career.... [ difficult to avoid what you really know is going on... hard to take the lies... :( ]

2. How long did the problems last before either party 'threw in the towel'
Technically about 2 years, she has a tendency to ALWAYS think of herself first, in money, taxes, feelings, etc. etc. etc. Never about the marriage or even me.... That is.. until she didn't want to work for the marriage anymore. Then it was not "hurting" me anymore.

3. How long the process was from deciding to separate to being legally divorced.
Don't know, she is moving out tomorrow. I'm expecting it to be 6 months to one year.

4. How long after before returning to the mingle pool or getting remarried.
I don't know... i'm kinda a wounded bird right now. I'll go out and enjoy myself with crowds or friends, but nothing else. I'm tired, sad and more than a little hurt, so if there is a special lady for me, she's got a big step to overcome now....
 

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Grand Master Mabel listens to Death Metal and flip
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Oh Bix. :( I'm so, so sorry.
 

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Almost choked on a Girl Scout ...cookie
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Oh c'mon...April is one thing.

Kim is a gem. Such a gem must be shared with the world....








as a warning. :lol:
Oh, she's a gem alright... if you took a turd and applied enough pressure to turn it into a stone... :lol:

Let's just suffice it to say, she turned out to be a complete whacko, and the divorce process takes twice as long as we were married. :screwy:

I'm surprised I don't have nightmares... quite honestly. :bang:
 

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Married in 1990 -

September of 1993 got a note that my truck was going to be repoed. She was handling the bills. Started searching around and found out we were $25,000 in the hole and behind on bills. Mutual friends father had died and left them a ton of money. I went in search of a loan and we agreed to terms. Paid everything back to even. I stayed around to try and make it work.

November or December 1993 she is "laid off" by the bank she works at and tries to borrow $15,000 from her Dad to pay off her car.

April of 1993 I get a subpoena (sp) in the mail addressed to her that she needs to turn herself in by next day or she will be arrested. Come to find out the $15k she needed was because she had embezzelled it from the bank where she was fired from and agreed to pay the money back to avoid prosecution. Again I stayed loyal and stood by her.

January 1994 got a 1098 in the mail that stated we had paid 0 interest on our house. Low and behold I call assuming it is a mistake. Come to find out she had not made a payment in 18 months and the house was in foreclosure and turned over to the Marshalls office for eviction. I lost a $180,000 townhouse with over $40,000 in equity in it. Again stupid young me stayed the course.

Winter of 1995 - I took all her credit cards, ATM card, access to the bank ect away from her. She started working for a company that had her travelling. I felt bad her not having a bank card or a way to get money out of town so gave her an ATM card. Within 4 hours of having it she withdrew $250.00 one day and $250 the next with no explination at all.

I kicked her to the curb and filed for divorce. I basically wasted 5 years of my life and $60 - 70K of money on her.

Divorce took over 2 years due to her dodging paperwork, not signing stuff, mandatory 1 year seperation, ect.
 

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Take a Bite of My Burrito!
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I filed within the 1st year of marriage and withdrew once she came to her senses and realized I was a God..we have been happy ever since then.

I think she also thought things thru when I said..It's cheaper to KEEELLL Her.

We are going on 11 years in December.

She is really down to earth..low maintenance and dropped her selfishness.
 

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Married in 1990 -

September of 1993 got a note that my truck was going to be repoed. She was handling the bills. Started searching around and found out we were $25,000 in the hole and behind on bills. Mutual friends father had died and left them a ton of money. I went in search of a loan and we agreed to terms. Paid everything back to even. I stayed around to try and make it work.

November or December 1993 she is "laid off" by the bank she works at and tries to borrow $15,000 from her Dad to pay off her car.

April of 1993 I get a subpoena (sp) in the mail addressed to her that she needs to turn herself in by next day or she will be arrested. Come to find out the $15k she needed was because she had embezzelled it from the bank where she was fired from and agreed to pay the money back to avoid prosecution. Again I stayed loyal and stood by her.

January 1994 got a 1098 in the mail that stated we had paid 0 interest on our house. Low and behold I call assuming it is a mistake. Come to find out she had not made a payment in 18 months and the house was in foreclosure and turned over to the Marshalls office for eviction. I lost a $180,000 townhouse with over $40,000 in equity in it. Again stupid young me stayed the course.

Winter of 1995 - I took all her credit cards, ATM card, access to the bank ect away from her. She started working for a company that had her travelling. I felt bad her not having a bank card or a way to get money out of town so gave her an ATM card. Within 4 hours of having it she withdrew $250.00 one day and $250 the next with no explination at all.

I kicked her to the curb and filed for divorce. I basically wasted 5 years of my life and $60 - 70K of money on her.

Divorce took over 2 years due to her dodging paperwork, not signing stuff, mandatory 1 year seperation, ect.

This is somewhat similar to me also... she has ZERO money managment skills and over the last 10 years i've probably dumped nearly 500K (yes.. you read that right) into helping her. All I was doing was feeding her insane behavior. At the end, she has zero idea of the hard times to come for her. I insulated her from alot of it... but that is her decision. Not mine.
 

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Never been married, lived with my fiance over a 2 yr period while she was in University, she only lived with me in summer and when she was down on breaks. She cheated on me, I broke it off. It was pretty ugly. I was very angry, bitter, etc. for the next 4 yrs I didn't date, hardly talked to women, basically hated women, drank like a fish, smoked like a chimney and my nose looked like a ski hill most of the time.

This experience pretty much soured me on the thought of ever being committed to a woman ever again. I haven't had a relationship longer than about 4 months since then. That was in 1997.

I'm still realing because of my foolishness and stupidity in that time frame. I did a lot of stupid things that whole era of about 5yrs. Spent (blew) a lot of money and got taken for even more by a business partner that I thought I could trust...

Any woman who ever convices me to be fully committed to her will be one hell of a girl. I just doubt I'll ever be able to...
 

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Inked Hotness
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married in 2005. had some issues before the marriage (infidelity... not on my part) but still attempted to work it out. my ex had some personality issues... depression, anger, etc, but we worked at it for about 2 years. and after about 3 years, it finally took a toll, and i ended the marriage.

i moved out about 3 weeks after the decision, and the marriage was officially disolved after about a year and a half (this last december)

i dated off and on for a bit, but met my current hubby last year and we are married as of about 3 weeks ago. i vow to work extremely hard at my marriage... not like there are any issues. we haven't had a fight or argument since we got together.... *fingers crossed!*
 

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WRAWRRR, BEAR CLAW!
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1. # of years 'happily' married - 5, married 10, got married after being together a year (I was 22, he was 34)

2. How long did the problems last before either party 'threw in the towel' - about 5, but I had to be the one to drop the axe, even though he didn't want to be married any longer. It was partially my fault, partially his (although he'd say it was all mine, as I was the one who wandered, yet his apathy left me starving, no matter how hard I worked or how much I did around the house he wasn't happy), but mostly it was because I grew up into 'myself' and he couldn't handle me - or love me - for the person I was. He was only happy when there was money in the bank (I could guarantee that I'd get laid every pay day, but not much other than that). He was critical and unhappy, and our fights would always be him breaking me down, making me feel like crap, and then showing any sort of affection towards me at all.

3. How long the process was from deciding to separate to being legally divorced - A year, total, including the mandatory 6mo wait and 'parenting' class. He couldn't wait for the door to hit me on the ass on the way out, but then got all angry, then emo, then bitchy when he found out I was dating and happy.

4. How long after before returning to the mingle pool or getting remarried - The Universe kind of intervened and created a collision between Robb and I, so within 3 months of moving out we were dating, he proposed to me a month or so later, and we finally got married 18 mos after that - we'd have been married sooner but my Mom decided to have a 'brain fart' (acute subdural hematoma that left her in the hospital for 2 months).

Moral of my story is: Be careful what you wish for, as it does come true, just not in the most painless of ways. But I wouldn't change the last 4 years for the world. :)
 

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1. Married 5, unhappy all 5
2. 4.5 years
3. 6 months
4. 2 years

We dated for 2 years. The day I married her, she changed into someone else. I took a lot of ****, and nothing could make her happy. I wasn't good enough b/c her married life wasn't turning out the way she thought it would. It was crazy. It was ugly. The divorce just as ugly. The end.
 

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Moral of my story is: Be careful what you wish for, as it does come true, just not in the most painless of ways. But I wouldn't change the last 4 years for the world. :)
Yes... You just might get what you wish for.... :bang: :(

-bix
 

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Currently listening to:, The Thong Song
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This thread makes me not want to get married :(
 
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